Writing In The Time of Snapchat

Snapchat wants you to send animated images or short summaries of short videos. If you have to type, you can do so within the borders of your phone screen, once. Two text boxes are not allowed, I think. I am 31 years old so don't quote me on that. But I did attempt to write a funny (?) sentence on a serious image once; which delivered zero mind-blowing results, whatsoever! Turns out we're supposed to do it the other way around with serious blurb on funny images. Mine was a full on sentence with a subject, verb and even...wait for it...an object. I hit the character limit mid-way through, of course.

Twitter allows for 140 characters for self expression (God! Was it always this short?). Most tweets on my newsfeed look something like:

Live: on #kindle new #scifi #book #read #amwriting #write @kindledownloadlink #spacebook

Too painful to keep scrolling down. I stop and rest my phone on the table, face turned down. I want to check writing platforms that are still not completely mobilized. I log in to Medium .

One after another, I am bombarded with warning messages on how long my read will take. I am welcomed by a two-minute read, five people hearted it; it can hardly be worthy of reading. Three-minute read, no hearts, next. Four-minute read. Ouuv 1K hearts. Score! This has to be good. Let's see. A self-proclaimed expert on social media marketing discusses the perils of generational gaps in content creation for unicorns. ehem...I whisper to myself softly this is not interesting. I am more in search of thought-provoking new ideas that will feed my curiosity and maybe make me giggle a little bit. I am not in search of the next Shakespeare. I know the guy wrote 5000++ pages of stuff in characters that are much smaller than the standard 12-point Word documents come with. I'm not naive and am in fact fully aware that the best of the writers use 1.5 line-spaced paragraphs if not the whole two. So even the long essays are only 2016-long, which is short for 19th and most of 20th centuries. 

There are two major road blocks standing in the way of thought-provoking, new ideas being freely expressed. One, they cannot be fictional or else! Our busy executives, great CEOs, the hardworking little rascals of today, can't waste their time with...gasp...fictional content. What? It's not even real? Also, why isn't it communicated in a numbered list format?

TOP FIVE WAYS TO WRITE BETTER CONTENT

  1. Write shorter.
  2. Use emoticons.
  3. Add images.
  4. Use links, no need for grammatically correct sentence forms.
  5. You might as well make a video for it.

Problem two: thought-provoking, new ideas require full sentences to be explained. I can't chop my subjects off, shorten my verbs and add annoying hashtags to my objects. In fact, let me apologize in advance for I might even use a full paragraph with a few sentences back to back to explain one part of the concept to you. It will add to my reading minutes, which won't intimidate only three people on this planet, two of which are my mother and my husband. So popularity is not covered under this warranty.

Dear impatient, young person,

I promise you though; if we begin to read properly again instead of skimming through, scrolling down or just looking at the GIFs (I have one coming, don't you worry!) we will continue to see genuine content pouring in through the gates of online and/or offline platforms. Let modern Tolstoys experiment with style; let Pamuks of today write paragraph long sentences but please stop trying to shorten the way we express ourselves. If you push me too much, I will have to turn to my greatest possession for help; my

Unless coldblooded, sheep-biting blockhead is something you particularly enjoy, I will write pages full of long sentences and guess what...you will read them because one day they will get 1K++ hearts and you will think, oh this must be a good read. Until then, off to @snapchat #livenow #later #trending

DA